communikate by telegraham

she.

2012-01-27T12:25:00.002-08:00

she is an introvert. as much as she loves parties and events, she really desires a quiet apartment, reading a book, perusing the internet, or watching something cheesy on netflix.

for the girl that dreamed of being a fashion designer from ages 12-18, she knows little about the dealings on project runway. she also is terrible at knitting, and even though she worked at jo-ann fabrics for one harrible (yes.. harrible not horrible) year, she doesn't know a stitch about sewing.

radiohead is a band that she knows she should be into, but she's not. in high school when all the cool boys would get together and talk about thom yorke, she would nod her head and say things like, "he's so deep." but really she just wanted to listen to incubus and 311.

she is still a giant baby. she scraped her knee, and the world has suddenly stopped. pain and drama go hand in hand for this lady.

she is clumsy. she blames it on her small hands and small feet for her bigger frame. she trips on silly shoes, spills the entire content of large sodas all over her, and drops things left and right. she probably will never get over this.

she has big intentions that depart the second she gets home from work. she feels guilty that she should be doing more, but slacks anyhow.

she wants an adventure. a trip to iceland, several days walking amongst the bleach white houses and sandy beaches of greece, a frolic in the woods of british columbia, or shopping with friends in chicago sounds amazing to her right now.

she is happy that it's friday and s u n n y!

humble pie.

2012-01-26T09:25:00.007-08:00

Do you ever feel you've become the worst version of yourself? That a Pandora's box of all the secret, hateful parts - your arrogance, your spite, your condescension - has sprung open? Someone upsets you and instead of smiling and moving on, you zing them? "Hello, it's Mr Nasty." - *Joe Fox You're Got Mail

I feel like lately I haven't been showing my best self. I've taken my silly insecurities and perhaps skewed views on the world out on family and friends. My sweet mom lovingly reminded me during the holidays, that I might have come off "bratty" in a certain situation, and a dear friend called me out on something I said.

And boy, if your family and friends can't call you out on your crap, then I'm not sure who can.

I guess if I've learned anything from this, I hate that I've become cynical.

Cynicism is one of the worst feelings to have in my book. It brews up trouble, taints things, and fuels a bad attitude.

So, I'll eat my humble pie, beg forgiveness and leave a promise to do better. I'm adding be more genuine, be positive, and be kind, to my growing list of thing to work on.

*man.. isn't you've got mail full of quotable goodies?

void of color.

2012-01-24T21:04:00.005-08:00

black, white, and grey seem to be the colors of my life lately. it's winter, and i've embraced her dress code fully. then again, i've always been drawn to those colors. as i look around my apartment, i see white bedding with black accents, a closet full of black heels and sweaters, a grey couch, and a white desk. my pinterest account will likely give you the same story with a screen filled full of b/w and a few splashes of color.

last night in desperate attempts of brightening a horrible monday, we took a stroll about downtown. we walked about sucking in the cold air, ate sushi, took photo booth pictures, and finished off with cupcakes. oh, what's that you say? "a perfect recipe for a hipster date night?" why yes. yes it was. we're going with the old standby...

"if you can't beat em' join em'."

*phone camera pictures suck.

propeller seeds.

2012-01-23T07:14:00.001-08:00

Imogen Heap - Propeller Seeds from Imogen Heap on Vimeo.

Do you ever associate a certain band to a happy memory? For me, Imogen Heap's music is tied together with memories of Graham and I's trip to London/Paris years ago. We usually do that with a holiday- listening to a certain album the majority of the time we go somewhere. I love that every time I hear her voice now, I am transported across the pond for just a moment reliving some of those memories.

This song is a newish one of hers. She is slowly but surely putting together a new album with expected release date of 2013 (so far away!) She is however, allowing the listeners to hear each song as she goes along, and you check them out here.

Happy listening.

heavy boots.

2012-01-19T16:58:00.002-08:00

It's dark and rainy today.

I put on my brightest colored dress and coral lipstick in hopes of buoying myself up.

I feel like I've been doing that a lot lately-trying my darndest to find happy spirits and smiles.

A proper hair cut and color after a year long home coloring disasters helped a little, but I still have that heavy feeling. Heavy boots, a term I have lovingly embraced from a new favorite read.

As I write, I feel that pretty colored dress that I bought for my birthday tight around my waist. It's there as another nagging reminder of my little failures lately. I haven't talked about my weight battle lately, because the truth is, there hasn't been a battle. It's been more of a surrendering on my part. With little desire to fight, I opened the doors to emotional eating and have allowed those feelings to make themselves right at home.

It's a struggle that I embarrassingly hate to admit because I've allowed it to happen for so long. The last three years I've almost embraced it. With every move we've made, my dearest companion has been food. It's there, it's comforting, and it's familiar.

One (see: nasty anonymous commenter*), vocally commented awhile back on this public blogosphere that it's a lack of self control on my part, and if I was going to not eat right, then I should be big and own it.

Well, I'm big and I'm owning it, because it's me. I will focus on longer being ashamed, because they are my struggles that I just happen to wear on the outside.

I do not strive for a svelte figure, but more for a healthy body and sound mental health. I want a body that will serve an even bigger purpose, which is motherhood. I want a bod that will grow a strong healthy baby that will grow up eating healthy and full of activity. I pray that if I have a chance to be a mother to a spunky daughter,I will not project my negative body images and bad habits on her. And if I have a bouncy baby boy who will grow up to be a man, I hope that he will know that looks are not every thing, and that personality and intelligence always wins in the end.

This year, more than meeting my "goal weight" I want to meet myself again. The one who didn't give a damn what others thought, the one who didn't harbor negative thoughts, and the one with a smile on her face.

It's time.

_-_-_-_-_-_
*Dear anonymous. I'm sorry that your struggles manifest themselves in hurtful words hidden in anonymity. I pray that you can find kindness this year.

Because I'm grumpy today.

2012-01-18T09:07:00.004-08:00

Just a few uplifting quotes for me today.

"It isn’t as bad as you sometimes think it is. It all works out. Don’t worry. I say that to myself every morning. It will all work out. If you do your best, it will all work out. Put your trust in God, and move forward with faith and confidence in the future. The Lord will not forsake us. He will not forsake us. … If we will put our trust in Him, if we will pray to Him, if we will live worthy of His blessings, He will hear our prayers." (Taken from this talk here.)

President Hinckley, a Latter Day Saint leader, said these wise words at his sweet wife Marjorie's funeral. I think if a man as great as him had to repeat this daily, then I should too. Faith and trust in the future is a big thing that I need to work on.

This quote gets me teary eyed every time I read it. Anne Frank, in some of the worst circumstances could look around her and find beauty still left in the world. If that doesn't put things in perspective, then I'm not sure what will for me.

And, I've got the "wants" like it's no one's business lately. Wanting anything and everything under the sun. A big reason? Comparing myself to others. We all know that social networking is a nasty little breading ground for this, and it's good for me to stop and not worry about what everyone else is doing or what they have.

1./Source: modernhepburn.tumblr.com via kate on Pinterest

2./Source: paintingsilentpoetry.tumblr.com via kate on Pinterest

3./Source: boomama.net via kate on Pinterest

i can't think of a title.

2012-01-16T20:11:00.001-08:00

these are the days of hibernating.

nights spent inside seeking warmth.

cooking. reading. memorizing poems. and writing letters.

these are the days that force us to slow down,

allowing us to enjoy time spent together without the guilt of needing to do something.

spring will come, and we will awake.

but, for now we will continue to

eat carbs and watch trashy reality television until the sun comes.

thanks, january.

you're doing us good this year.

1//:homemade gnocchi by yours truly. holla' for suzy homemaker. 2//:books for reading and money management. 3//: use of christmas stationary and pretty japanese tape. 4://keats words of beauty. man, i chose a long poem to memorize.

the truth about cats and dogs.

2012-01-13T07:39:00.003-08:00

Here's the ugly truth: I'm not a pet person.Like.. at all.

So, when I read this the other day, I realized that this summed up my feelings perfectly.

I have no affinity for animals. I don't hate animals and I would never hurt an animal; I just don't actively care about them. When a coworker shows me cute pictures of her dog I struggle to respond correctly, like an autistic person who has been taught to recognize human emotions from flash cards. In short, I am the worst.

- Tina Fey in the book Bossypants

And yes, I grew up with a brother that asked for a pet every Christmas. We went from gerbils to birds to cats and dogs and well, the truth is.. I just didn't really care if they weren't there in anymore (a.k.a missing, given away, in pet heaven.)In short.. I am the worst too.

I'm not sure Graham will ever recover from this seeing as he wants a ~~horse~~ blue dane, and is more than willing to have him hang out with us in our studio apartment. I think I might lose this battle one of these ~~days~~ years when our kid begs for one. (maybe.)

a hazy shade of winter.

2012-01-11T19:44:00.003-08:00

It's a soup day.

It's cold,windy,and down right miserable outside today. In search of warmth and comfort, I decided to make my grandmother's chicken noodle soup. I put a record on, turned up the heat, and got busy.

As I was making the noodles, I thought about how many times I watched my grandma do the same thing for my siblings and I growing up. As kids, she always had a pot of that soup on in the winter while we played out in the snow. After a snowman was constructed or snowball war had ended (no doubt resulting in one of the kids crying), we'd run in the kitchen with cold hands, and she'd rub them to get warm. She'd then place us in front of the heater to thaw out as she'd finish lunch for us. As we grew older, she'd have a hot bowl of soup waiting for us after a day sledding or snowboarding in the mountains. We'd walked in with wet feet on her clean floor (she'd never say a thing) and sit at her table telling her all about our day, as she'd busy around the kitchen hardly sitting still.

She was warmth.

Oh, how I miss her.

(pst.. After helping my mom cook this over the holidays and now today, I'm considering myself an expert (ha) and crossing #19 off my list.)

music- youth lagoon.

2012-01-06T11:37:00.001-08:00

Youth Lagoon - July from Tyler T Williams on Vimeo.

have you guys heard youth lagoon yet? they've been constanly playing at house lately, and i'm eagerly awaiting seeing them later this month!

enjoy their savory tunes, and have a sweet weekend!

what would tina fey do?

2012-01-04T20:34:00.004-08:00

i have something brewing in my mind. it seems that it could be important, inspiring, or wonderful (or maybe just total crap) but lately, i can't pen down the words to make sense of it all. this leaves me feeling equally relieved and frustrated. relieved because i get to keep these thoughts to myself and not share them with the world. however it's frustrating, because i'm a sharer. i want to talk and disclose. in turn, i often expect the same from others. i want to get to know people quickly, and prefer to avoid the surface awkwardness and trivial things discussed. to break it down, i.hate.small.talk. let's just skip the banter and get to the good stuff shall we?

speaking of small talk... going home always leaves me a bit unsettled. it's hard to describe the amount of anxiety and happiness all wrapped into one little feeling. yes, it's happiness to see those that i love, anxiety for what we have left, happiness for moving forward, anxiety from second guessing decisions. it's all a hot mess in my head.

and while we're talking about decision making, i must really confess that i STRUGGLE with it. not with silly things like deciding where to eat dinner (mexican. it's almost always mexican) or what movie to choose (rom-com), but more important stuff like paper or plastic? kidding. but seriously, it's stuff like school and the inner debate about racking up student loans or waiting and hoping for a scholarship. i worry about decisions regarding babies or lack thereof, and i can't decide on living in the city or going for a place with a washer and dryer, parking, and space (a.k.a the 'burbs).

but despite my worries and abilities of decision making, i'm looking forward to this year. i feel good things coming. we've got some pretty serious goals, and some fun ones, and some crazy- so-crazy-that-it-might-work goals. i think that is really all i can ask for right now- something to look forward to.

hello, january.
can we get at least five days of sunshine?

post script:
and, if all else fails, i'll just ask, "what tina fey would do?" because she's a genius. and yes, i'm like five years behind the 30 rock/liz lemon awesomeness but i'm hoping to make up the time and learn some pointers from her rad book, bossy pants. hil.ario.us.

Friendly Friends.

2012-01-02T15:00:00.002-08:00

Emily, Ben, Graham, and I- I didn't get the memo to wear purple. :)

Every time I go home, I'm reminded of how many great friendships I have there! This last trip home, we were able to set a few days aside for lunch dates, cupcakes, dinner dates, and ice-cream with friends.

Jamie and I (see top photo) hadn't seen each other in over two years! We met up for breakfast at the Bear Paw, and then went to a h.s. friend's funeral. It wasn't the best of circumstances but it still great to see her!

We finally were able to meet Emily and Ben, because luck would have it that we were both visiting St. George for the holidays. Blog friends turned real friends are rad! We chatted for a few hours over cupcakes (the blogger thing to do), and swapped travel stories. We're totally going to be travel pals one of these days.

One of the nights we had Sushi/Thai food with Jon and Lyndy, and we were able to chat baby names, college, and the perks of mini-vans with them (Graham seriously wants one!) We're couple friends made in heaven. No, but seriously, they set us up, which we'll owe them forever!

Jamie and I were able to meet up again for lunch with one of our long time best friends, Meagan. We were all college roommates and laughed over the funny stuff that went down in apartment (most notable? a roommate that always stole our food! grrr!)

Afterwards, Graham and I met up with J&J for frozen yogurt, where they begged us to move back home. Their happy news they shared with us, almost had us convinced, but we're still in hanging in strong with our decision to stay in Portland. :)

Overall it was a world wind of activities and friendly faces. Unfortunately, there is never enough time to see everyone or spend ample amount of time with those we do see. This is why we're advocating for people to visit us. Days and days of quality time with us. It's a win win! :)

twelve months.

2011-12-31T09:51:00.000-08:00

january: we saw the trailblazers, made a funny announcement, and a trip home to utah for kate.
february: we explored portland more, tried out new restaurants, celebrated valentines day, spent an expensive evening at the ER, and desperately prayed for sunshine.
march: we made new friends, saw devotchka play, spring at last arrived, and kate started school after a near ten year hiatus.
april: we took a trip to the coast, enjoyed the beauty of a full blown spring, graham turned 28, and we visited a tulip farm.
may: we relished the sunshine, rocked out to m.ward, a trip to utah for graham, our friends came for a visit, and we saw iron and wine (and kind of hated it).
june: kate survived finals, so she took a trip to utah to visit family and new friends, we visited pretty gardens, and went camping.
july: one word: snaggletooth. ( kidding, but it was major.), we celebrated fourth of july despite aforementioned incident, hiking near the river, and we took a trip to seattle.
august: we saw the shins play,we marked one year of living in portland, and we went to the state fair where we ate weird fried food with friends.
september: it was surprisingly hot in portland, so we enjoyed the rain when it came, graham finally went to arizona, kate experienced a horrible airplane ride, and a sweet trip home.
october: kate started fall semester, we welcomed fall, and celebrated our seventh anniversary.
november: we saw sufjan stevens play a live score to a movie, kate turned 29, so she started a list to do before thirty. we saw the civil wars play, hosted thanksgiving , and got in the christmas spirit.
december: homework, finals, and work consumed us, but we managed to get a "tree" and make santa cookies, before going home for christmas.

and that was 2011.
(and why i continue to blog. i would've forgotten half of that stuff if not.)

see 2010, 2009

White with sunny and bright.

2011-12-29T17:20:00.002-08:00

For years, my family and I have taken the journey to our family ranch located in the middle of nowhere (Panguitch, Utah) for Christmas. Over the last eight years, our family has grown with new sisters in law and grand babies, and the saying, "more the merrier" rings true.

This year, we had all but one brother, and his wife (we missed you Alex and Necia!) gathered together in small quarters to celebrate Christmas. We stuck to our tradition of trekking through the hills to find a Christmas tree. A few years back we jokingly gathered around the tree in circle in a "Whoville" fashion singing O' Christmas tree, and ever since the tradition has stuck. Later that day, we decorated the tree with old ratty ornaments and lots of of extra ones at the bottom (where little hands were able to reach.)

Other activities included, the boys shoveling away at the snow to create an ice-rink at the pond. Where we lacked in ice-skates, we made up in awesome ability and only managed to eat it a few times on the ice. We also brought back the Nativity after a fifteen year hiatus at the request of our three year old niece, Annie. She handed out the parts and made sure my mom brought "costumes" for us. Graham and I were chosen for the role of Joseph and Mary, which would've been cooler if I really had a babe in my belly instead of a giant year long taco bell food baby, but nonetheless we rocked our roles, and only managed to only laugh half way through it.

Other highlights included:

My niece telling us that she heard the "North pole FOUR times last night" when waking her up on Christmas morning.
My parents giving us gifts in an extreme style of "white elephant swap" with gift cards.
Kids and Christmas morning. (I'm thinking about renting some next year when we're alone for Christmas. They really do make the holiday way better.)
A bumpits hair accessory given as a gag gift to my SIL Teresa, and her trying to cover up that she really liked it.

With it all said and done, we feel so blessed to have such a rad family that enjoys spending time with one another.

*and sadly I did not get one good picture of my parents. :( They were probably slaving away in the kitchen while we were having fun.

i've got my love to keep me warm.

2011-12-19T10:35:00.000-08:00

all things happy this week:

little kids singing christmas carols.
watching home videos from christmas past.
cooking batches and batches of santa cookies for neighbors and friends.
christmas trees twinkling in people's windows.
spying santa clause driving an old rolls royce.
and
anticipating a white christmas at my family ranch in utah.
(because snow is only acceptable at christmas time.)

man.. thursday can't come soon enough!
two words: cafe rio.

Source: bippityboppityboo

Top Ten.

2011-12-15T13:17:00.004-08:00

NPR, Rolling Stone, Billboard, and every other blogger is doing it, but we thought we'd throw in our little opinion on the top ten albums of 2011 as well.

(And boy, did we debate this out. )

1. Bon Iver- Bon Iver
2. Beirut- The Rip Tide
3. The Head and The Heart- The Head and The Heart
4. The Civil Wars- Barton Hallow
5. Black Keys- El Camino
6. Fleet Foxes- Helplessness Blues
7. Coldplay- Mylo Xyloto
8. M83- Hurry Up We're Dreaming
9. Mates of State- Mountaintops
10.The Decemberists- The King is Dead

1. Explosions in the Sky- Take Care Take Care
2. Bright Eyes- The People's Key
3. The Decemberists- The King is Dead
4. St. Vincent- Strange Mercy
5. The Strokes- Angles
6. Beirut- Rip Tide
7. M83- Hurry Up We're Dreaming
8. My Morning Jacket- The Circuitial
9. Tuneyards- W H O K I L L
10.Black Keys- El Camino
(Graham couldn't narrow it down to ten... so, #11 Foo Fighters- Wasting Light)

Most overrated album? Adele. (don't hate us.)

happiness is:

2011-12-14T09:46:00.002-08:00

all things happy this week:

finals being over!!!!! (that totally warrants at least five exclamation points.)

the sun shining in december.

the smell of fresh baked sugar cookies in our apartment.

eight days until christmas break,

and

new music that makes me want to dance.

yes, like a shaken up soda waiting for the cap to come off and spill over with goodness, i feel like i'm on the brink of something.*

something good.

happy wednesday.

*and seriously, sunshine in december is a BIG deal around our neck of the woods. it's been polar opposite weather in comparison to last year's every-day-but two-days-of rain and darkness in november/december.

weekend.

2011-12-11T20:33:00.001-08:00

this weekend, i avoided parabolas and comprehensive test studying for:

making the bueler family traditional santa clause cookies. after nearly massacring a few batches, i declared that i never want to make another santa cookie again, but then ate one and made up with the tricky buggers.
a christmas party for church. it was.. how do i say this? a church christmas party? cheesy jokes, meh food, and missionaries trying to sing feliz navidad. (i think most church parties play out like this unless you happen to live in the same area as team boo. the church parties she throws are the bomb. i salute you cardboard queen!)
posing once again in our traditional stance for photos. we're boring. we need to mix it up a bit. (or stop being so vain. probably the latter.)
and finally attacking our scary mountain of laundry. laundry mats are not a place to spend your saturday mornings- dude, take it from us.

oh weekends, why must you zoom past so quickly?

(and while i'm questioning life, why have i forgotten everything that i've just learned over the past twelve weeks in math? oy. i swear if i make it to statistics it's going to be a miracle. )

music makes my world go round.

2011-12-07T11:27:00.000-08:00

tennis:

every bit of music i've heard from these guys has me excited. i really like them and their soothing tunes.

dr. dog:

this guys just might be in my top ten favorite bands. i 'm stoked to see they have a new album out in february!! even more stoked about the chance to see them live. enjoy a preview of their new stuff.

the lumineers:

aren't these guys great? i want to stomp my feet and shout "hey" right along with them. i hope i get the chance to do it in person and soon. (new full length album out in march!!)

(p.s.) sorry if the videos cover up the words. grr.. blogger. just listen and imagine what i had to say if so.

oh christmas tree.

2011-12-06T09:49:00.001-08:00

meet our "add water and watch it grow" christmas tree.

(in just three easy steps.)

because nothing says christmas like an instant tree.

not.*

we (ahem. he) decided to not do a tree this year because we're going home this year for the holidays.

sad.

but, i'll take a trip home over a christmas tree any day.

*remember "not"? it's so nineties. ha.

as of late.

2011-12-04T19:37:00.002-08:00

it turns out i'm not a great student when my work load is less. yes, less. i find myself procrastinating longer, and doing less homework all around. it's just that play is so much more tantalizing than work, and 99% of the time i choose play. (i'm talking to you, anniversary, birthday, concerts, thanksgiving, life.)

another culprit for choosing play over homework? my new favorite part of the day is when i climb into our sea of quilts, snuggle in, and watch a christmas movie with graham. i try my hardest to refrain from watching my favorite christmas flicks through out the year so that they're extra wonderful. but...sometimes i slip up in like july, and watch one. nbd. (family stone, the holiday, love actually etc.)

oh, and speaking of lazy, this weather and early nights setting in have my wanting to nothing but lay around. am i the only one? i swear the darkness sucks whatever energy i have out of me. i hate you darkness.

and, on the off chance that we actually get out of the house after work, we usually end up at the music store. this was the case on friday night, when we spent a good hour or so checking out new tunes. i know i can stream them live on spotify or whatnot, but there's something great about listening to an entire album in the store while trying to dance discreetly and refraining from singing out loud. plus, the joy of actually buying a compact disc (remember those?) is nostalgically awesome.
*current new to me favorites: m83 and sallie ford and the sound outside. check check check them out.

whoa. this post is all over the place.
i really should've taken that writing class.
next time right? (sigh.)

annnnd.. now it's crucial that i get back to quadratic formulas and all other things nonsense in math.

the best way to spread christmas cheer.

2011-12-01T07:55:00.004-08:00

happy december!

i give you a christmas mix to help counteract some of the horrible christmas songs that are no doubt blaring in the stores, at work, and replayed over and over again on the radio (i'm talking to you "grandma got ran over by a reindeer.")

the polyphonic spree:: happy christmas (war is over)

bright eyes:: oh little town of bethlehem

sufjan stevens:: joy to to the world

first aid kit:: blue christmas

her space holiday:: let it snow

coldplay:: christmas lights

florence and the machine:: last christmas

swell season:: star star

my morning jacket:: christmas time is here again

radiohead:: walking in a winter wonderland

the bird and the bee:: carol of the bells

regina spektor:: my dear acquaintance (a happy new year)

city sidewalks.

2011-11-30T07:51:00.005-08:00

i love the buzz of the city during the holidays.

even the malls with the sickening sweet smell of candy covered almonds, annoying pop stars covering classic christmas tunes,and scantily clad teenagers can't ruin my spirits.

turn the season.

2011-11-27T21:08:00.000-08:00

thanksgiving weekend was a success. burke and teresa brought the sun with them for three awesome days of exploring the beach (we had to squint our eyes it was so bright!), walking downtown, thanksgiving matinee, the zoo, finding the "weird" in portland, cooking a non-turkey feast, eating on school buses, kissing on our cute nephew, and lots of high fives and "knuckles."

we just might be pros as tour guides now.

come and visit, and see if we're correct.

spirit of thanks.

2011-11-21T09:00:00.001-08:00

It's hard to believe that Thanksgiving is this week! I feel like it was just yesterday that we were eating on the ironing board for dinner last year. This year we're stoked to be hosting my brother and his family! We can't wait to show them around and cook for them.

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, we just wanted to jot down a few "thanks" for our bountiful blessings this year.

1. One another. For the sake of not being extra cheesy, I'll just say that we're glad we have each other (like really glad.)
2. Our jobs and the promotions we've both received in the last year. We recognize in economy with the norm being "you're lucky to have a job." recognition is rare and a blessing.
3. Friendships formed. We've had a chance to get to know some amazing people over the last year, and are so grateful for their invites to dinner, girls night/guy nights out, and just being a familiar face amongst the sea of strangers in our relatively new city.
4. Our parents. Bottom line: we got lucky. They love us, they support, and they cheer us on from afar.
5. Little adventures. All the trips home to see family, day trips to the coast, Seattle, and Salt Lake. All of those little bits help with my insane desire for travel. I hope for many more in the next year.
6. Education. I am so thankful for the opportunity to go back to school to expand, learn, and further my goals.
7. Health/Dental insurance. That cute E.R. visit and snaggletooth disaster, would've been that much more painful without some kind of help.
8. Our healthy bods. Despite the aforementioned disasters above, we are healthy and happy.
9. Rad siblings. We have some pretty cool guys as brothers that have married some great ladies. We love all of them and the nieces and nephews from them.
10. The Lord. Without him, none of those nine things above would even be possible. I am forever indebted to him.

i've got this friend.

2011-11-16T17:20:00.004-08:00

november 15th

milo greene*

and

the civil wars

at the crystal ballroom.

i love being married to a best friend that loves the same music just as much as me. it makes for good times.

oh, and this show rocked btw! (even though we were pretty far away from the stage- hence blurry pictures) i highly encourage ya'll to see them if they are still visiting a city near you.

one word:banjo (bonus: john paul of the civil wars looks loads like johnny depp)

it's sure to be a good time.

*watch out for milo green. they're going to be huge! *oh, and isn't julia brilliant?!

thirty before 30

2011-11-14T21:50:00.015-08:00

Today, at 29 years and one week old, I'm jumping on the thirty before 30 bandwagon. I'm hoping I can complete all of these things in the next 51 weeks. Let's hope this doesn't fail miserably just like my January 1st resolutions do every year.

Wish me luck, and pester me to make sure I do them all.

Goal weight.
Give up Diet Coke for 100 days.
Run a race (any race will do.)
Make my own jam.
Read thirty books (big.small. long. short.)
Memorize a poem or short piece of literature.
Write thirty handwritten letters to 30 incredible people in my life.
Host an outdoor dinner party for friends.
Rent a mini cooper for the day and drive to the coast.
Eat vegetarian for one month.
T~~ake something thoughtful to all of our surrounding neighbors.~~ (Santa clause cookies 12/11/2011)
~~Submit an essay to a magazine contest.~~ (11/28/2011- Ladies Home Journal personal essay contest.)
Re-read the book of mormon.
Visit a new country.
Start and finish a sewing project.
Pay for a stranger's dinner.
Take a class with Graham (cooking, dancing, photography etc.)
Choose a major and stick with it.
~~Master my Grandma Bess' noodles for her famous chicken noodle soup recipe~~. (January 2012)
See the Grand Canyon (shocker i know! i grew up four hours away from it.)
Go to a Timber's soccer game and sit in the Timber's army section.
Try yoga.
Complete a random act of service.
Train travel to Canada.
Cook thirty new recipes.
Ride on a ferry boat.
Have a no-spend month.
Watch 30 Rock from start to current season.
Go on five local hikes.
Babe in my belly. (eek! scary and exciting all at once!)

Let's do this twenty nine!

a saturday well spent.

2011-11-13T08:07:00.001-08:00

yesterday, was another saturday with graham working.(bleh.)

so, i decided to bag the reading for a downtown solo date instead.

----------------

1.autumn and bangs again-note to self: use real hair cutting scissors vs kitchen shears next time.//2 beautiful window displays at anthro.//3 walking about pioneer square.//4 movie treats for the matinee of like crazy.(it was frustratingly beautiful.)//5 birthday money comes in handy with a few purchases.

end of the week.

2011-11-11T17:42:00.001-08:00

phew.

i made it to friday.

portland's version of fall weather, has kicked in full force with rain and darkness at four o'clock. i might get crazy and re-read all of the twilight series before next weekend. (keyword: might)

happy weekend one and all.

i hope all of your 11:11:11 wishes come true.

(photo from a gorgeous sunday drive last weekend. man, i love this place.)

momma said there'd be days like this.

2011-11-10T10:43:00.002-08:00

after a beautiful monday, my week took a sharp u-turn come tuesday.

the midterm that i thought i aced, turned out to be a "c". i had a horrible no good patient yell at me, curse at me, and then threaten me for something totally out of my control, and i might have cried in the school parking lot because:
a.i was so done for the day.
b.tired.
and
c. hungry with no plans of fitting dinner in before my four hour class that night.
it was a low point i tell ya. low point!

(wait. i take that back, the low point was hitting up the burger king drive through at ten p.m. with no shame.)

and folks, sometimes it's okay to cry in public. sometimes it's okay to let the laundry spill over with no hope of being clean anytime soon. sometimes it's okay to shove your face with fries way past seven p.m., or watch really cheesy television afterwards.

but only sometimes.

oy.

friday can't come soon enough.

add another candle to the cake.

2011-11-08T22:09:00.002-08:00

twenty nine, you're already looking fine.

yesterday, i had a beautiful birthday filled with texts, phone calls, tweets, facebook comments, and emails from friends all over the world.
i'm took a midterm, and am 92% sure i aced it(midterm on a birthday?! psh.), and then spent the evening with graham dipping bread in cheese in a cute fondue restaurant downtown. afterwards, we laughed in the aisle of powell's as we read blurps from funny books to each other.

it was a perfect monday birthday.

how the time flies around you.

2011-11-07T08:24:00.004-08:00

(lisa and i in amsterdam- fall 2001 pre digital days.)

ten years ago to the day, i step into self discovery as i boarded an airplane, and flew across an ocean. i landed in paris on my birthday- nineteenth be exact. i was scared out of my mind, but giddy from my surroundings and the foreign language being spoken around me.

after my friend lisa and i managed to find our hostel, we walked up and down the cobblestone streets looking for something resembling a birthday dinner. my parents had slipped lisa some money, and told her to take me out somewhere "french"- and french it was. the menu had no english (as it should) and we were clueless when we ordered. i remember randomly pointing at something on the menu and hoping for the best. to this day i have no idea what we ordered- all i know was it was slimy and funky. we laughed as we managed to choke down the dinner trying to not look like idiot americans. the best part was when brought me some type of desert and lit it on fire. it was beautiful and scary all at once.

i think about my europe experience often. i'm so grateful that i had that at that point in my life. i can't believe that it's been ten years!

beyond this place.

2011-11-04T12:00:00.001-07:00

last night we had the opportunity to see the film, beyond this place at the hollywood theater here in portland. it was an interesting film about a son interviewing his father, a hippie acidhead, who essentially abandoned him in his childhood for the life of drugs and cycling.

the movie alone would have been a great way to spend the evening, but the extra kicker was sufjan stevens and ray raposa performed the score live! it was awesome to see them sitting on the stage with the movie playing in the background. i just wish they could've played long into the night.

it was a great kick off for weekend.

It's like that Jackson 5 song.

2011-11-02T12:04:00.003-07:00

I saw this on Stacey's blog and thought.. hey why not put off work for a little bit and give you all some random information ABC style too? (employee of the year right here!)

So, here are 26 random facts that you'll probably never need to know about me.
Age: 28 (just a smidgen away from 29)
Bed size: Queen
Chores that you hate: The dishes. I'll clean a toilet, do the laundry, mop the floor. The dishes. Hate them! Tragically we've only had a dishwasher for less than a year of our marriage.
Dogs: Are nice far (far far) away. I wish I could say I was a pet person, but alas I'm not. I do like the idea of taking a dog out for a run-minus the cleaning up the poop part.
Essential to start your day: Diet coke.
Favorite color: I know this sounds so gothic of me, but I have to say black. It's the color in design, furniture, and clothing I'm always drawn to. I do have a love of navy and orange together as well.
Gold or silver: I used to say silver, but lately I'm leaning toward gold. It's classy.
Height: 5 feet 6 inches
Instruments you play: The recorder. Oh, and I can rock the right hand keys on the piano.
Job title: Medical Secretary
Kids: Kids are also great far far away. Kidding. I'm looking forward to a couple in the next few years. Bonus? Child labor. They can do the dishes for me. It's a win win.
Live: Graham, travel, new things to see, do, eat, live music, learning, family and friends.
Mothers name: Cleola. I've only met one other Cleola before, and I like that it's different. She however never gets her name pronounced correctly- it's either Cruela, Crayola, Cleoma, Cl Cl Clola?
Nicknames: Sk8, Kata, a select few are allowed to call me "Katie" and my mom calls me "love."
Overnight hospital stays: None-thankfully.
Pet peeves: People not following through on what they say they're going to do. p[eople chewing on paper. loud talkers.heavy breathers. wet socks. I could go on for days on this-I think that says I'm easily irritated.
Quote from a movie or TV show: I'm not a big quoter of lines from films. Now, Graham..he could give you a few.
Right or lefty: Right is right.
Siblings: Smack dab in the middle of five brothers. KC, Ben, Burke, Alex, and Zac.
Time you wake up: The alarm clock is always set at 6:20 but I usually roll out of bed at 6:45 and then am late and flustered all morning.
Underwear: White and long.
Vegetable you hate: Mushrooms, raw onions, and raw tomatoes.
What makes you run late: Lost keys, lost phone, lost directions, lost brain. I'm always looking for something.
X-rays you've had: No broken bones here. I do have a cute medical bill from ultrasounds and scans from this years kidney incident though.
Yummy food you make: Food I make? Hmm.. The Thai place down the street makes me a great Massaman Curry. :)
Zoo animal: Giraffes. Those long necks are so graceful.

jacket weather.

2011-10-30T21:54:00.003-07:00

how about some over saturated phone photos? yes? okay.

i justify this use of this app, because my cameras never seem to capture the brilliance of the colors here. just like last year, i'm the googly eyed idiot walking around taking a million pictures of all the fall colors. i can't help it knowing now that this is mother nature's sweet send off before we enter months of grey, darkness, and straight up ugly.

so, i'm taking full advantage this year...you hear me mother nature?

i believe.

2011-10-29T13:08:00.001-07:00

i believe in :

avoiding homework as long as possible// making german pancakes on the weekends// forgetting to wash my face at night// solo dance parties in ugly sweat pants and messy buns in the kitchen// saying no sometimes// apple cider and fresh donut parties with friends// throwing all caution to the wind// complimenting on strangers outfits// the good in people/ / buying little treasures- even though i'll probably never use them// letting the chips fall where they may// forgetting the laundry and sleeping in// and ditching class for a concert.//

oh, and of course i believe in good pizza. always have and always will.

image via: dietcokeandasmoke

we live in a beautiful world.

2011-10-26T21:45:00.001-07:00

the light at four o'clock in autumn, just might be my favorite light of the year. i love how there is crisp air that awakens the mind, while the sun still shines enough to rest on my cheeks and give them warmth. i could sit for hours in that light watching the way it dances on the leaves, illuminating the now yellow trees, and casting beautiful shadows all about.

today, before class, i wanted to stave off those depressing florescent bulbs for just a little longer, and enjoy the natural light. so, instead of rushing, i sat on a metal bench, took off my coat, ignored the time on my watch, and pushed away my anxiety of being late to just sit in the quiet. as i took in my surroundings, my heart swelled with so much peace and gratitude toward my great maker.

a gentle reminder came to mind and reassured me that even during the hard days, when i feel like i'm struggling to keep my head above water, i am blessed. when comparing my life to the many hardships of the world, i'm amazed and often wonder why i've been able to avoid them?

why?
why do i get to live in a free land relatively sparse of violence and political uprising? a place where my belly is always full and my needs are always met? a land that as a woman, i am free to voice my opinion, get a college education, and to be an individual. sometimes i am racked with guilt when i really think about my little complaints when so many others are struggling for their basic needs.

while i'm not sure why god chose for me to placed where i am now, i do know that when opportunity is given, much is required.

so, i left that little sunny spot with a little prayer in my heart, and a vow to do more. to be more grateful. to serve more. and to lift other's burdens.

it's amazing what a little gratitude can do for a crummy-i want-i need-i'm grumpy- day isn't it?

the anniversary.

2011-10-24T08:32:00.000-07:00

an autumn picnic. little presents. fancy dinner. and a sunday stroll.

what a beautiful fall anniversary weekend!

i'm a lucky lady.

seven.

2011-10-23T08:30:00.000-07:00

seven rad years of marriage.

we're happy to say there isn't an itch.

(and graham.. i love ya a million times over- even when you make that face.)

come on get happy.

2011-10-20T19:46:00.002-07:00

i dropped my writing class this week. i can't believe what an amazing weight has been lifted from my shoulders! this week has been good. like really good. great things are happening at work, we've had gorgeous fall weather, and we're headed into a great anniversary weekend!

and with happy things, come happy music!

here are some more favorite tunes:

french navy-camera obscura

you got your cherry bomb- spoon

raindrops on the kitchen floor- mason jennings

you're too weird- fruit bats

angelika- devendra banhart

rich girl- the bird and the bee

the rabbit, the bat, the reindeer- dr. dog

scenic world- beirut

silver lining- rilo kiley

and the wild card...

do you know- enrique iglesias*

LISTEN HERE!

happy weekend one and all!!

*total inside joke.

a little bit of happy on a grey day.

2011-10-19T11:18:00.000-07:00

wise words to remember.
the desire for a kid is burning strong.
a weekend of nothing sounds great right now.
mr. clark gable is sure to brighten anyone's day.
i've got a serious case of the travel bug.

source: 1//2//3/4/5

late night date night.

2011-10-15T21:22:00.002-07:00

sometimes our date nights look like this.

last night graham and i managed to see each other for bit in between homework and work. we finally ate dinner at 9:00 at burgerville (tillamook cheeseburgers and sweet potato fries) and then headed to a late night movie. yes, late night movie. we're totally living on the edge.

two thumbs up for smuggling in pumpkin shakes and him not getting a call!*

*he's on call this weekend for work. translation: if someone dies and uses the mortuary he works at, he has to immediately go to the home or hospital to pick up the body. yep. body. extra translation: this means we have a lot of interrupted dinners and movies.

untitled.

2011-10-13T17:59:00.003-07:00

i'm writing a thirty-before-thirty list. with twenty nine hitting next month it's time to get crackin'. with that said, i'm drawing a blank. lists are my thing! why can't i think of what to put on it? i hope that means that i've accomplished a few things in life already. yes, i'm going to tell myself that. it'll take away a little bit of the sting of things i haven't done yet.
>>>
my previous post was about babies. i feel like i write a post like that every year, and every year i still doubt. isn't doubt a dirty word? i'd like to think so. it's the opposite of faith, which i'm obviously lacking. faith. faith in myself. faith in the unknown. faith that every thing will work out. new/old goal: faith. lots and lots more of it.
>>>
i've got a head cold the size of texas. i'm that annoying kid with the sniffles in class(at least i'm not wiping my nose on my sleeve.) i hate having the immune system of a four year old. if you have a cold, i'm sure i'll have a cold. you can plan on it.
>>>
it's raining. i'm sipping on a diet coke, listening to this album, and am finding trader joe's mini pb cups dangerously addicting. yes, you guessed it. the sugar and caffeine ban lasted three days. three! it was a miserable few days i tell you! i figure i've got few vices in life. why give up chocolate and diet coke. oy, and now i sound like that lame cathy comic strip. aaak!
>>>
and, i'm enjoying my pretty orchids that graham picked up for me. i love orchid season. it reminds me of birthday trip to carpinteria years ago, and buying a trunk load of them for cheap at their flower market.

>>>
happy almost friday!

the high dive.

2011-10-11T22:01:00.001-07:00

i'm standing on a diving board.
i've been standing here for awhile.
some might even say years.

every year i get a few more inches closer to the edge
but,
my fear of heights has held me back from the jump.
those fears of the unknown at the bottom.
the way that i knew it would hurt as i crashed into the cold water.
and
the knowledge that once i jumped i wouldn't be able go back,
had me running back to the steps time and time again.

but i've finally made it to the edge.
i've allowed my toes to hang over the ledge,
and suddenly,
the cold water and heights don't look so daunting anymore.
how i long for the sweet reward once i hit the cool water.

i admire those of you who have made the jump,
and the way that some of you ran to the top of the steps, and cannon balled right on in.

you are the true adventurer.

oh, how i marvel that some of you have made the jump several times, while i held back waiting.

waiting for that courage and strength that that type of jump requires.

for now, i still linger on the edge.
i gather my thoughts, and let the butterflies in my belly swirl about with nervousness.

i hope i can take the plunge soon though.
it's a bit lonely up at the top.

life as we know it.

2011-10-09T17:22:00.001-07:00

welcome, to my little corner of life.

remember when i thought i wanted to do four classes this semester? ya, i'm realllly glad that i thought that one through. this semester is already giving me a swift kick in the rear with three classes. i'm already dreaming of dropping my writing class, but know i'll regret it later. so for now, i'm struggling my way through math, chuckling at the ridiculous comments out of students in my film studies class, and cursing my online writing class.

oy.

i'm just so tired. how did med and law student do it? no, really. (and don't tell me coffee. i hate coffee.)

i fear i'm searching for balance in a world that doesn't seem to exist. just as i write now, i'm feeling anxiety that i should do homework.

but, this album is soothing all those feelings and beckoning me to take a nap.

goodnight world. i hope things (and my homework is finished) look brighter when i wake up.

happiness is:

2011-10-03T19:22:00.001-07:00

the beginnings of fall.
tights weather!
frumpy dresses turned into cute skirts.
the wonder years on netflix.
starting new goals.
popcorn and watching old hollywood films like casablanca.

the not so happy:
crazy math teacher that talks about edward (as in edward from twilight) and treats us like 8th graders. (even thought the class is at 8th grade level. freak.)
my computer that decides to freeze at inopportune times (i.e. turning in an assignment via online.)
giving up caffeine and sugar at the same time.

control freak.

2011-09-29T18:29:00.001-07:00

Source: tumblr.com via kate on Pinterest

my name is kate,

and i'm a control freak.

this quote above, just might be a life long battle of mine, but i hope and pray that someday i can fully embrace this concept.

for now, i'll continue stressing about:

how large my country's deficit is.
baby names and fear of friends/family members using the ones we love.
other's opinions of me.
my lack of a ten year plan.
those i love and their actions/choices.
why mtv continues to air jersey shore.
the weather and my quest for year round 78.5 degrees
and
that big question...
how do they cram all that graham into golden grahams?

the good parts.

2011-09-28T13:25:00.001-07:00

just like a gooey center of cinnabun found in the airport, the middle of any trip is always the best. my trip last weekend proved this theory well-(see airport post below for further proof.)

it was great to be home as always. who doesn't want to be spoiled by their parents and pretend to be fifteen again? i do. perks people. perks!

as for photos...well, i was too busy kissing on babies, hanging out with gal pals way into the night (1:00 a.m. we're hardcore!), noshing on favorite foods (see: coconut cupcakes) shopping with my mom, and sunday dinner with the fam. it was better that way anyhow.

i can't wait to do it all over again (sans weird airport stories) at christmas.

the to and fro of the las vegas airport.

2011-09-27T21:30:00.003-07:00

before sharing the fun of visiting home, i thought i'd share the not so pleasant experiences leading up to and the aftermath of my trip.

the to:
after flying into las vegas at least twenty times, i've come to know what a good majority of my fellow passengers will look like, and how they'll most likely behave. they are often twenty and thirty somethings in groups of guys or girls. their loud chatter about where they're going to party, what shows they'll see, and wagers of who will get most plastered and do something stupid is heard all over the terminal and then even louder once they're seated. girls in the dead of winter will be spotted wearing stilletos and mini skirts with fake tans, while the guys they're hoping to hook up with are wearing ed hardy jeans and bad hair. and it's a guarantee that i'll hear that ~~famous~~ irritating statement "what happens in vegas..." at least five times.

the day i flew into vegas with spirit airlines happened to be the first day they were making connections to and from portland. at the terminal i found a gathering of happy flight attends toasting their cohorts with champagne and asking me a million times if i wanted a cupcake or a cookie. the bubbly flight attendants(because they had to with their big bosses around) and the large group of bachelorette party turned the scene into a "woo girl" party. clapping, taking pictures, and dancing. when the plane landed to pick us up, there was a giant "woo" cheered across our gate. i might have been in a better mood if the flight wasn't running an hour late, or if i hadn't just embarrassed myself by showing the entire airport the back of my underoos as a result of my backpack pulling up my skirt. it was going to be a bad flight before it even began.

since i'm always going to las vegas as a stopping point instead of a destination, i still have to worry about how i'll get from las vegas to st.george (a long/boring 1.5 hour drive.) when i go home to visit. this time i had arranged for the shuttle to pick me up at the airport and drop me off. the pick up time was 9:30 pm sharp and i knew with the flight delay i'd be cutting it close. as we boarded i realized i was the second row to the back, and i was sitting next to the "woo girls" of the bachelorette party. luckily they were very nice and apologized for their embarrassing behavior that would no doubt ensue on the plane. as we were getting closer to las vegas i asked the flight attendant a couple of time for an ETA and for the gate we were landing at. "9:15," she finally told me. i started to freak out a little bit knowing that if i missed that shuttle there was a good chance i'd be slumming it alone in vegas for the night. the bach girls asked me if i had a connecting flight, but i explained my situation. they begged the stewardess to let me off the plane first, but she quoted some stupid TSA rule and walked off. finally another rad FA came to our row winked at me, and told me to grab my crap and book it to the fourth row. i hurried to the front, (with another "woo" as my background noise) knocking everyone as i rushed past, and tried to ignore the stares as i sat down right before landing. i was the first one off the plane, running to the shuttle like a crazed idiot. huzzah. i'd made it.

the from:
now, leaving las vegas is usually a different story. those, "woo girls" walk around with dark shades, and shopping bags. many of them are quiet and ~~subdued~~ hungover. however, there's still that small annoying crowd that shouts "what happened in vegas STAYS in VEGAS.. no posting pictures on facebook you hear me jimmy?!"

i was anxious to fly last night. i always feel bummed to be leaving "home" and my family and friends. the vacation was over, and sadly it was back to reality. as i finally boarded, i sighed as i realized that i was the middle seat. the man sitting next to the window was weird. neurotic almost. he crouched against the window and asked me if the flight would be full (really he wanted to ask, "why are sitting right next to me?") i shrugged and waited. unfortunately our next travel companion showed up and sat in aisle row.

before the plane had even taken off, the aisle girl had started nodding off, and eventually weaseled her way over to my shoulder. (fyi: i'm extremely claustrophobic when it comes to people and spaces). i coughed. i moved my arms, tried to shrug her off. nothing. the plane roared and still she was zonked out. five minutes into the flight weirdy window seat man said, "i need to go to the bathroom, can you wake her?" i began moving my arm over and over again trying to push her off. i calmly said "maam? hello?" with no response. i then proceeded to poke her and speak louder "MISS? Hello?" but she still remained in her previous state. window guy then asked,"she's breathing right?" i checked. yep. she was breathing. he started to get antsy, and in turn made me that way too. to make matters worse, we were experiencing some pretty bad turbulence, and i was praying that i don't vomit on all three of us. five minutes later, he looked at us and asked again if i would wake her. that time, i flopped her head over to her side of the seat and she flopped it right back over. great. she's passed out on me. awesome.

after accepting defeat, window seat man finally relaxed and mumbles that he'll just wait to use the restroom when he lands. just when i don't think the flight can get any stranger, he then pulled out his bag and takes strips of paper out, and proceeds to make what appears to be a paper chain (like the christmas countdown chains in green and red.)

at that point my freak flags are waving high. i had to resist shouting "what is going on right now?! seriously? does anyone else see this?" but i prevailed, and at last the pilot announced our final descent.

just in time for aisle seat girl to wake up, and rub her neck looking as if she had a kinked neck.

( i really had to refrain from asking her "oh, does your neck hurt? i wonder why?")

whoa.. and if you got through that rant, you win a prize. gold star for you!

happy friday.

2011-09-23T10:26:00.000-07:00

happy first day of fall!

it's great to be home hanging out with my boys.

hope ya'll have a great weekend.

p.s. dear thirteen year old self: what were you thinking using decorative scissors around all your childhood pictures?!!

ten little (pointless) thoughts.

2011-09-21T09:57:00.001-07:00

##########################################################################
1.my brain is on vacation mode.
2. i don't want to work today. instead i just want to pin pretty pictures all day and imagine a world where i serve delicious food , dress in fabulous clothes, and travel to all the tiny wonders that the world has to offer.
3.i'm looking forward to a fall anniversary/birthday that i hoooope i get to wear this to some where fancy. (hint hint graham.)
4.other things on my mind? fall television. i'm not impressed with the new girl. i'm sure it's something to do with that fact that i'm sooo over zooey. her and big glasses and big bangs have me left with a feeling of ugh.
5. but, i'm not ashamed to admit that i might be a titch excited that simon cowell is back on television. it's that accent i tell ya.
6. school starts on monday. i'm stressing a little, and yet wondering if i can manage to add another class. four classes and working full time is doable right?
7. ooh stress.. let's switch back to vacation mode. i'm wondering how on earth to pack this weekend for four days in a purse sized bag. i'm refusing to pay what would be a nice pair of jeans for the price of a carry on (note: carry on.. not checking a bag. stupid spirit airlines.)
8. and while i'm complaining, i'm not thrilled with the prospects of ninety degree weather when i go home either. when did i become such a baby? portland and it's mild temperatures have no doubt ruined me. seventy degrees is just SO nice.
9. i am however looking forward to (duh) cafe rio and sonic diet cokes in a bad-for-the-environment styrofoam cups with pebble ice. (and seeing family of course.)
10. and i guess i should get back to work.
##########################################################################

happy wednesday.

autumn and me.(a gathering of happy memories)

2011-09-20T09:30:00.003-07:00

It's no secret that I love Autumn.

So much, that I entered the world on chilly fall day in early November 1982. I was a week past my Halloween due date, and knowing me, I'm sure I wasn't about to share my birthday glory with another holiday.

It was that holiday, that I would later declare the beginning of my "birthday week" (which would later extend to at least November 14th.) Many birthday parties were spent with Autumn activities and treats.

As a kid, I remember anxiously waiting for the time that the yellow and orange leaves would fall to the ground on my grandparent's street. It meant many happy memories on Thanksgiving in their front yard raking their leaves for hours on end.(Which I'm sure much to my grandfather's dismay of having to leave them there for us.) The cousins would gather and jump from the fence onto the mountain high pile, as we all screamed with delight.

In middle school, I recall wearing ridiculous school outfits in late August because I was so excited for the impending Fall. I regretfully wore wool socks, Doc Martins, and a wool skirt the second day of school (mid august in the desert mind you-)and had to be a trooper when I arrived home so I didn't hear my mom say "I told you so."

I would later go on to favor Sadies Hawkin's dance the most of all High School events, because I got to plan the activities. Festivities would usually involve pumpkin carving and carmel apples with boys that I had no romantic interest in but knew I'd have the most fun with. We'd later go in search of haunted forest/houses that night and try to not wet our pants from freaking each other out.

I carried the love of the season to my wedding planning years later in 2004. My mom encouraged a shorter engagement, but I was determined to be married in the fall. I got my way, and had my wedding with burnt oranges, rust, and chocolate brown details. We were married on a gorgeous late October day during Southern Utah's finest weather conditions. The sun was shining and there was a crispness to the air. My mother-in-law, served us a delicious lunch with salads in miniature pumpkins under a canopy with golden leaves peppering the grounds. It was perfect.

The following year, I somehow managed to talk Graham into a trip to Boston for our Anniversary. I'm sure my current love of Gilmore Girls had something to do with, but we found ourselves on a Greyline tour with a crowd of Senior Citizens oohing and ahhing over the fall foliage in New Hampshire.We still talk fondly of that little excursion.

The year that we found ourselves in Phoenix was rough. Melted Halloween chocolate in my car and ninety+ degrees was disheartening. The months following summer should be a season to clear one's head. To remember your goals and and to start anew. Without the true season and continued never ending Summer, it messed with my groove and threw me through a loop. I was miserable.

Luckily, last year made up for the previous year of desert weather. It was our first season in the Northwest and my first time living in a place where Autumn lasted from late September clear until late November. I think I took a million photos of every colored leaf possible. It was joyous.

And happily we find ourselves here again.

I'm ready for you, Autumn. Just go ahead show up when you're ready (but do hurry ok?)

little nothings.

2011-09-18T19:43:00.001-07:00

clean drawers, closets, and floors.
listening to the rain.
reading.
walks with hot cider in hand.
warm toes.
and
fresh flowers.

it was a weekend filled with little nothings, but it felt just right.

september rain.

2011-09-16T07:58:00.005-07:00

Just when I was openly complaining about the weather (for the millionth time), mother nature woke up and realized that yes, it is indeed mid september here. The days have the chill in the air, the nights are cool, and are a perfect temperature to sleep with the windows open creating that near camping experience.

This weekend calls for rain. I'm actually quite excited for it. I'm doing a major over haul on our apartment in preparation for school starting in just over a week. I have huge plans of wearing thick socks, listening to music, and organizing closets. It's going to be great. Really.

I thought I'd share you with a playlist I'd typically play for a day like the one I've mentioned above. It's a little emotional (never emo), a little chill, a little "this should be playing in the background of a movie that i'm staring in."

Happy Weekend.

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

rainy day tunes.

careless- amos lee

quelqu'un m'a- carla bruni

the scientist- coldplay

sleepy california- her space holiday

hide and seek- imogen heap

in our bedroom after the war- stars

love for granted- phoenix

where does the good go- tegan and sara

skinny love- bon iver

almost lover- fine frenzy

fljotavik- sigur ros

listen here.

photo source unknown.

tunes: mates of state.

2011-09-12T17:39:00.000-07:00

i've had a music crush on these two ^^for several years now.

meet: kori and jason of mates of state.

they are a rad married couple in a bad of fourteen years, and still rockin' it with babes and all.

after seeing them a couple of times in concert, i'm more than ever, convinced that i want to invite them over for dinner, and request to be bffs forever.

their newest album, mountaintops, comes out tomorrow!

but, why wait?

you can listen to whole album here!

hot nights, summer in the city.

2011-09-10T18:34:00.002-07:00

summer showed up way late this year here in portland. it's 95 degrees this weekend, and it's not fitting for this city of few air conditioners, pools, or sno-cone free establishments. the once green ground has turned to spotty and brown too. i know i'll regret saying this soon, but i'm missing the rain (shocker i know!) i'm dying for some relief.

while we wait, we're making the best of the situation by walking aimlessly for hours at target, ikea, and hitting up the movies. i think we've had at least five ice creams cones this week, and a million diet cokes.

hope you're having a cool weekend where ever you might be!

*photo from voodo donuts. the heat makes us do crazy things and eat crappy. not cool heat. not cool.

happiness is:

2011-09-07T10:09:00.005-07:00

Once I read a story about a butterfly in the subway, and today I saw one. I couldn't believe it. It got on at 42nd and got off at 59th, where I assume it was going to Bloomindale's to buy a hat that will turn out to be a mistake. As almost all hats are. Don't you love New York in the fall? It makes me want to buy school supplies. I would send you a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils if I knew your name and address. Confession.I have read Pride and Prejudice about 200 times. I get lost in the language; word like thither... mischance... I'm always in agony over whether Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy are really going to get together. The whole purpose of places like Starbucks is for people with no decision-making ability whatsoever to make six decisions just to buy one cup of coffee. Short, tall, light, dark, caf, decaf, low-fat, non-fat, etc. So people who don't know what they're doing or who on earth they are can, for only $2.95, get not just a cup of coffee but an absolutely defining sense of self.
- you've got mail

--------------------------------------------
"happiness in the small things" in not a new concept to me. it's been said over and over again, and yet i still need the reminder often of the validity of the statement. as of late, i'm trying to slow down. (and no, i won't say and "smell the roses." because well, that's just cheesy isn't it?) and enjoy the present.

lately, happiness has been found in:

driving around a new neighborhood as the sun set. open windows, an ice cream cone in hand, tunes playing in the background, and acknowledging that i'm in a good spot in life.

enjoying late nights of favorite films (like you've got mail) and popcorn m&ms.

embracing the fact that the laundry isn't done and the bed is not made, and that yes, life still goes on.

catching up with old friends and new friends on the phone for hours.

being with family (even if it's through online communication.)

and, a simple smile from as stranger on the street as i pass by.

happy wednesday.

tunes: pickwick

2011-09-05T23:22:00.002-07:00

this seattle band's happy tunes have been blaring loud in our apartment as of late.

seattle knows how to produce some great musicians don't they?

in fact, if all goes well, we're hoping to see them play this weekend.

yep, typical me planning the weekend right when the work week starts.

well, here's to a tuesday posing as monday.

check out more of pickwick's tunes here.

so long sweet summer.

2011-09-02T07:51:00.002-07:00

the last weekend of "summer" is here.

as i've mentioned before, i'm feeling anxiety and excitement all in one for the approaching fall.

anxiety: over the grey, lack of light, and rain come november.

excitment: about crunchy leaves, tights, boots, turning on the oven and not roasting in our tiny apartment, and candy corns.

i'm wishing for the coast this weekend.

too bad he's working.

maybe i'll read about it instead?

happy three day weekend one and all.

get your bbq, school shopping, and rest on.

Source: jaclynpaige

the calendar hung itself.

2011-09-01T10:09:00.002-07:00

h e l l o s e p t e m b e r!

before we move on to what is sure to be a great month, i first wanted to share bits from a great evening on the last day of august.

1. purple balloons in honor of her.
2. flying heavens high at overlook park.
3. mexican cokes during an almost autumn evening dinner outside.
4. a brisk walk through a neighboring farmers market, but sadly realize no cash is found.
5. finish with ice cream at salt and straw .
6. he got brown ale and bacon ice cream, and i chose the pear and bleu cheese flavor in a fresh waffle cone. (oh, and yes! it was really good! like really good.)

okay... now we can talk about september- the great precursor to fall! the month of new school beginnings, crisp air, a trip home to utah, a great line up of good music, and much more.

let's do this number nine!

layers.

2011-08-31T07:05:00.021-07:00

l o s s

loss is that empty feeling in the pit of your stomach that you know will never be filled again. it is an open wound begging to be covered and restored to it's normal scar free state. for me, dealing with loss has layers. years and years of layers. some of us may just be on the first layer with a recent death of a loved one. how my heart goes out to those during that time. death often makes us delicate and irrational human beings in the beginning. every day is a roller coaster of emotions. we cry. we shout. we get angry. and for many of us, we do stupid things.

loss slapped me in the face at the young age of 18 years old with the death of my best friend. that oozing painful wound brought out a side of me that i wasn't acquainted with before. you see, before the news of carrie's accident, i was timid. i was a rule follower, faithful, well-behaved teenage girl. just days after carrie's death, the new me came out. i remember racing down to las vegas to pick up friends from the airport for the funeral. i zipped through traffic going a million miles an hour with no fear or concern of getting pulled over or hurt. my friends looked at me like i was crazy, but i didn't care. i voiced my opinions. i refused to go to church for awhile with my"angry at god" moments. i went against my parent's wishes and booked flights to europe leaving just days afterwards. i talked to strangers. i walked alone down dark alleys in the middle of the night. i was silly thinking that i had become fearless, but i was fond of the new courage that i had found.

the year after that, found me with a continued zest of adventure. my second layer of loss, was thrill chasing. i wanted everything to be bigger and better than the event before. skydiving for a birthday, concerts, and parties. the whole notion of "living each day as if it were your last" consumed me. unfortunately, it was all a facade--something to hide behind and convince everyone that i was okay with out really facing the bigger issue.

as my twenties increased in numbers, i slowly smartened up. college, new friends, and marriage brought a much needed distraction from the void. i tried to make the most of the situation by moving forward and trying to learn from all that had happened. unfortunately right when the layers of distraction were beginning to settle, they were ripped open once again when we heard the news of graham's best friend's death. it felt like a horrible re-run of events from my life before. i scrambled to not fall apart, while trying to comfort graham in the best way i knew how. i dreaded the events that no doubt would come for graham. i knew of the funeral, seeing another set of parents loose a child far to young, the anger, the questioning, denial, and then the hopelessness. i hated that i felt like an old soul with that knowledge.

years have passed with me adding layers as i fail to bandage up that huge wound of loss. today, marks ten years from that hot august day in 2001 when our world was turned upside down with the news of loosing carrie. ten years of missing her. ten years of wondering where and what she would be doing right now if she was still here. i smile to think of how she would have rocked college with that high ACT score of hers. i wonder where she would've traveled, who she would have met, and if she'd be married by now. and often times, i think of the promise we made to each other in high school, to raise our kids together with park dates while rocking to 311 in the car.

some say that,"time will heal all wounds," but if i've learned anything in this decade, it is that that saying is crap. i don't want to ever fully heal from this. i want that scar to remind me that life is short, and can be taken in an instant. i want the reminder to be kind to everyone because they're fighting their own battles. and most importantly i want to acknowledge how loosing her, shaped me to be the person i am to day- a better, wiser, kinder, a little broken, but a changed person.

top l-r kate-kristin bottom l-r carrie-meagan carrie's 13th birthday 1995

carrie, i love you and miss you more than words can describe.

today, we as friends drink coca cola out the bottle, blare 311, watch johnny depp movies, and fly purple balloons up to the heavens in your honor. might we never forget your infectious laugh, brown eyes, brilliance, and kind heart.

l.y.l.a.s

other thoughts on carrie here.

blue ribbons and pie.

2011-08-29T08:03:00.001-07:00

we went to the oregon state fair over the weekend with our friends, sam and blair.

we strolled through the 4H booths and tried to not gag over the smell of the prize sheep, cows, pigs, cows, and horses. (city slickers.) we admired pretty quilts and drooled over blue ribbon pies. we skipped the over priced/sketchy rides, but indulged with carni food with graham trying the turkey legs (hello sodium!) and i with a corn dog and deep fried peanut butter and jelly sandwich. yes, only at the fair is it socially acceptable to eat anything and everything deep fried. in fact, i'm still curious about the deep fried pepsi. what/how/why?

it was the perfect end-of-the-summer activity.

p.s. scanner is broken/died/not wanting to buy a new one. please forgive shoddy photos.

clap your hands and say ya!

2011-08-27T14:47:00.004-07:00

happy saturday!
i'd thought i'd share with you my picker upper "mixed tape." it's filled with fun tunes that are great for dance parties in the kitchen, icky tasks like cleaning the bathroom, and for party pooper days -which i've clearly been having lately.

i'm from barcelona- we're from barcelona

vcr- the xx

weezer- island in the sun

head in the heart- cats and dogs

the national- abel

rooney- calling the world

matt costa- sunshine

phoenix- lisztomania

rogue wave- permalight

ben kweller- penny on the train track

mates of state- for the actor

grizzly bear- two weeks

and the wild card...

biz markie- just a friend

listen here!

///

2011-08-25T18:25:00.001-07:00

today had me wanting to lie in bed all day. i longed for the soft white comforter that would hide me from the world of it's unfairness and cruelties for just awhile. how i wished to turn the blinds down, blast the fan, and wait for the sweet surrender of sleep.

today was a day that i feared if i opened my mouth, i'd cry. tears for no good reason really, just the anxieties and stressors boiling up and vying to get out. instead i pushed those tears back and let that lump in my throat grow hotter.

today has me wondering about the path not taken. thoughts spin around my brain about choices both good and bad made. i ponder where i'm at in life, and most importantly where i'm not.

today is day that only eating seems to help. a help that really only makes the matter worse. a nasty little quick fix to soothe away the stress and avoid the real issues.

today has me wondering if i'm crazy, and if so, where do i find the magic pill?

today is one of those days.

tomorrow will be better.

happiness is:

2011-08-23T18:36:00.000-07:00

happiness is:

wandering through works of art on a hot humid day

(see: what to do when you have no air conditioning in your apartment)

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

other greats:
+ a bit of rosy cheeks and freckles on my nose.
+ airline tickets purchased for home next month.
+ one more month of summer.
+ finding a new favorite breakfast place (biscuits and gravy anyone?)
+ this album on repeat.

tunes: mason jennings

2011-08-23T08:19:00.000-07:00

mmm.

can't wait to hear the rest of his album coming soon.

portland: through the eye of a fish

2011-08-21T20:20:00.001-07:00

bridge city. pdx. rose city. stumptown. rip city:

we've claimed our residency with you for one year now. it's funny to think of how lost/freaked out/excited we were when we pulled up to our apartment that warm august afternoon a year ago. we walked into the apartment seeing it for the first time and signed the lease on the kitchen counter. i remember blowing up our air mattress (that we slept on for five months) looking at the empty walls and thinking "well, this is it."

since then, we've learned that yes, it does actually rain in portland (how naive we were). we've also learned that it requires the rain to keep our surroundings so beautiful, and are learning to embrace it. we've learned that sunshine makes the world go round, and that we will drop everything and anything on a sunny day to go outside and play.

along the ways, we've learned to properly prounonce the cities and street names around us, and try not to shake our heads when we hear the locals pronounce "aloha, astoria, and couch street," far different than we would.

we've fortunately made a handful of great friends, figured out the grocery stores, found new restaurants to love, can give proper directions to visitors, and don't use an umbrella like the rest of the natives.

i love that we've chosen a city that will hopefully be where we start a family, get college degrees, and start proper careers. and while it doesn't quite feel like home yet, it's starting to feel familiar, and that's a start right?

see other cities we've lived in through the fisheye found here and here.

summer song.

2011-08-19T12:02:00.002-07:00

last night, i sat in the car for about an hour while graham was in a meeting. i watched as the sun slid down the sky hitting the trees, hitting my eyes, and eventually going behind the houses. as i continued to wait, i watched as the neighborhood kids played on the streets running and chasing after one another. it seems that we're all holding on to the last bits of summer as long as we can. luckily, the forecasts calls for 90 degrees tomorrow. in fact, it's the first time all year. huzzah!

on the agenda this weekend:

trying a new bite to eat.

finding a swimming pool

and

maybe another matinee by myself. (i've come to love this little tradition when graham works weekends. )

.....

2011-08-16T18:01:00.002-07:00

writers block.

a million thoughts swirling in my head, but nothing seems noteworthy these days.

well, i guess i could tell you about how i'm in deep in the summer and seth drama on o.c. or, how i'm hating my hair at the moment. i could write about my deep anxiety every time i feel the cool breezes that no doubt promise fall. fall? as in autumn? yes, the one that i normally love, but this year can't fathom it's so close. i suppose i could pen down the words about my make-up with female vocalists after my several year break up of listening to them. and, tell you all how i'm giving them another chance after hearing this ladies' tidbits of her new album coming out(finally). i could jot down my thoughts on my strange desire to pick up a book every time i go to goodwill, but never plan on reading it. or share with you how just typing "goodwill" makes me feel itchy and the strong desire to wash my hands. i could tell you all how i hate even numbers like 26 or 8, and how birth years, times, and even comments in that number category freak me out.

but really.. that's just all useless information isn't it?

sea legs.

2011-08-11T17:28:00.009-07:00

the shins

(with hosana)

doug fir lounge

august 10th

small venue. standing on a bench with a great view. and amazing tunes.

this show had all the music makin' ingredients, to make it a great show.

yep, it was happy wednesday, and a tired thursday for this girl!

moments to remember:

graham trying to convince me to flirt with the bouncer for a set list.

and

graham being bouncer like (mr.. 6'6 and strapping) on the punk guy trying to squeeze into our spot.

*you make me feel like i'm fun again.

2011-08-10T10:17:00.001-07:00

thanks:
for quieting my fears.
for gently telling me to eat when i'm hangry (see: hungry+angry).
for the belly laughs that give me hiccups.
for watching cheesy sitcoms with me.
for the diet coke runs.
for doing the laundry far more than i.
for wearing headphones when you listen to the music of your youth (a.k.a crap music).
and
for going along with my plans, and not rubbing it my face when they fail miserably.

graham, you're pretty rad.
i'm glad i like you as much as i love you.

*from our song.

rad.

2011-08-05T10:47:00.000-07:00

all things rad this week:

sunshine all week is rad.
a thursday night hang out with blog friends turned into real friends is rad. (it was great to see you again abby, and finally meet you cara!)
getting tickets to a sold out show is rad.
group hangouts with family members on google+ is super rad. (think skype but way radder.)
rad is a rad word.
fridays are rad.

things not rad? crappy phone pictures taken at dark, and graham gone all weekend.

happy friday!

oh, and i promise to never use the word "rad" this often in a post again.

funny (a re-post)

2011-08-03T11:22:00.004-07:00

i've been struggling with social media in general lately. as many of you know, it's a love/hate relationship, and sometimes i wonder why i still bother with it. when i started blogging four years ago, all of my friends were right along there with me. we shared recipes, craft ideas, and funny stories that only we would appreciate. along the years, it's changed. most of those friends blog here and there, but not like before. i've met "new friends," like most of you reading now (thank you!) and i've really loved the friendships made. but often, i've wondered if it was enough to keep writing to this little internet void.

well people,i've had a change of heart after reading through some of my archives the last few days. it's funny to read about my fears with moving to portland last year, and what we were doing two years ago this week in phoenix. it's great to see how much we've changed, grown, and learned in the last four years. it also has me wishing that blogging was around seven years ago when i was dating/ engaged/ marrying graham.

lesson learned? remembering that blogging is for me.

so, i'll carry on and i'll keep writing, so that years down the road, i can remember how easy we have it now.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

*this is a post that i laughed long and hard reading again. it was written during a hard time, when we were adjusting to moving to phoenix, trying to embrace that horrible heat in august, and working at new jobs. this post reflects a night that made everything seem like it was going to be okay.

originally posted: 08/06/2009

Apparently, we had NO IDEA what we were doing in this photo booth

last night,

and

I LOVE IT!

I keep giggling, every time I glance at it on our bulletin board.

asleep on a sunbeam.

2011-07-29T07:15:00.000-07:00

hello, friday!

it's hard to believe that july is nearly over. the good news though? we're looking at a forecast claiming seven (yes SEVEN!) days of straight sunshine with not a cloud in sight here in portland.

oh, the possibilities!

weekend plans involve:

me desperately trying to get a few rays on my blinding white legs, reading a good book, and maybe sneaking in a late afternoon matinee to see this.

hope you all have a great one too!

----------------------------------

p.s. hey, portlanders! anyone have a great and decent priced hairstylist they recommend? i'm in need of a hair cut and color like it's no one's biznass.

moments.

2011-07-27T20:45:00.002-07:00

on what is sure to be a grey and foggy day in december, might i remember:

the hippies swaying to the beats of the drum circle on mississippi.

the way the light hits the leaves on the trees on knott street.

the magnolia blossoms bigger than my face on 22nd.

the bicyclists in sundresses with wicker baskets on 12th.

the hydrangeas blooming on siskiyou.

the smell of waffle cones waiting for ice cream on fremont.

and

the perfect summer evening in july.

yes, when summer breezes and warmth are near forgotten, and all seems a bit dreary, i will summon these tiny moments and remember:

for everything there is a season.

[post edit: not lying about the drum circle, or the grown men with beards swinging in the tire swing next to it.anything goes here.]

tunes: generationals

2011-07-26T09:30:00.001-07:00

two different styles of music videos, and both equally awesome. speaking of music videos, do you remember when mtv used to actually play music vids instead of trashy shows like jersey shore? in middle school, my friends and i used to do our make up and get ready for the weekend with mtv in the background.

sorry babes of the 2000's. you got shafted.

now, back to the band. aren't they good? i figured we could all use a little happy on tuesday, and these guys are to do it.

check out more of their stuff here.

side bar: top video is totally zac morris style. bottom vid has me dreaming of fall.

serve me the sky with a big slice of lemon.

2011-07-24T00:40:00.001-07:00

we did a quick trip to seattle yesterday. it was sunny with blue skies and beautiful! if i didn't know better, i'd be tempted to pack my bags and move there.(oh you tricky northwest, on a sunny day, you go and convince many that you can do no wrong. see: why we moved to portland.)

we explored some more of the hot spots that we didn't have a chance to see last october.

. we claimed our spot on the gum wall.
. ate some awesome russian pastries and mac & cheese.
. listened to some rockin' street performers.
. found a troll under the bridge.
. drove around some great seattle neighborhoods.
+
. hung out at gasworks park.

i can't wait to go back.

dream weaver

2011-07-21T12:51:00.000-07:00

i dream of cobblestone street holidays,
with bread and cheese in tow.

i dream of a land where little boys kiss their mommas,
and always have clean hands.

i dream of someone coming in and doing my laundry every week-
including line drying the sheets.

i dream of days spent in my library with no interruptions or homework.

and
i dream of a job that doesn't have me longing for fridays on mondays.

sweet dreams indeed.

photos: sorry, my links got all messed up.

you can find more of my dreams/links here on my pinterest page.

tunes: active child

2011-07-19T18:16:00.000-07:00

meet the band: active child.

isn't this video hauntingly beautiful, and just enough weirdy? i'd like to say so.

you can check out more of their stuff here.

sunny day real-estate.

2011-07-18T18:46:00.004-07:00

these are just a few of the charming things i encounter in my neighborhood, when i walk to/from work.

and
this is why we'll live in our studio apartment forever.

if i had an orchard, i'd work till i'm sore.

2011-07-17T21:21:00.001-07:00

we spent part of our weekend with friends picnicking with music in the park.

i love how late the sun goes down here in the nw. i'm hoping it stays around for a few more months before the cold sets in.

(and btw portland, 65 degrees is not summer weather.)

for now, we're enjoying our late night dinners and hanging outside until the sun goes down.

now, if only we had a crew for night games.

kick the can anyone?

wordy.

2011-07-14T21:16:00.002-07:00

a year ago, i made a internet pinky promise that i'd read all the harry potter books before the last installment of the last movie came out. well, needless to say, i didn't keep the promise. i tried. i really did. i got to book four, and then found myself with the worst case of ADD. i keep thinking "i have other stuff i should be doing." terrible, i know. so, friends. i wish you the best in your weekend of hogwarts mania and what nots. i regret to say, i won't be joining in on the "tears" as some tweets have mentioned.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - speaking of promises, our year long promise to our landlords to live in our ~~shoebox~~ studio apartment is nearly up. we're SO torn on what to do. we love our little corner of the world amongst the beautiful old homes that we'll NEVER be able to afford, and tree lined streets a plenty. i love the historic charm, and the bagel shop right down the street. i however hate the space or lack thereof, and the fight for the coin operated laundry machines. i long for a bedroom. a place to shut the door for privacy when guests come. i want a bathtub, and a dishwasher, and S P A C E. so for now, we linger. we wait. and we look. and we debate if we want to really move to the burbs. moving. uggh.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - sheesh- all this talk of moving, has me a wee bit homesick. freakin' homesickness. i do good for months without a twinge of missing it, (lies.. little lies.) and then bam.. i'm longing for home so much that i want to hop in the car and drive seventeen hours straight. i'm jonesin' for a lake day with friends. i want my red rocks all around us, and the fear of scalding our feet on the asphalt after swimming in green waters. i want coke runs and gossip with the gals while the boys jump of big rocks, and scare the crap out of us. really though, i think i'm missing my early twenties. not that i'd want to go back to those days of dating and insecurites, but i miss the carefree days of waking up, working a few hours at my medium wage job, and then hanging out in my skinny body and bathing suit with friends. lyndy and brooke- i'm talking to you! c'est la vie right?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - oh,and while i'm still lingering on the skinny bod talk... does anyone have any sweet advice for this gal? remember, my inner skinny girl that is normally struggling to get out? well, she's hidden in the depths of winter weight and late night studying/shoving my face moments. i'm needing a sense of balance. of health. and control. all advice on this matter, (no diets. i'm done with those.) would be much appreciated.

oy. thursday.

so many random things on the brain.

beauty-full tuesday.

2011-07-12T11:22:00.002-07:00

the empress of cardigan empire, asked me to express my thoughts on beauty/body image over on her blog today.

i talk about my lady curves, lipstick, and smiles.

you can check it out here.

and while you read that, i'll be nursing my poor mouth back to health after a morning root canal, and watching glee in my pajamas if you need me.

music monday: lyndy butler

2011-07-11T10:22:00.006-07:00

you guys! i'm so stoked to share this video with you today! this is my best friend, lyndy .

it's pretty rad to have a bff as a rockstar. i love her, and am so proud of her for putting her self out there. cheeseball of me? yep.

anyhow, her album is thiiiis close to being ready for purchase. get excited people!

my huckleberry friend.

2011-07-10T12:44:00.003-07:00

it's amazing how an afternoon picnic by the river will boost one's spirits.

we found a beautiful "beach," and waded our toes in the bitter cold waters. the sun warmed our faces, as we filled our bellies with our favorite sandwiches.

a happy day indeed.

man. i'm continually in awe of this great northwest, and all it has to offer.

happiness is:

2011-07-07T17:49:00.007-07:00

finding joy in the small things.

this week has been rough. obviously, the pole-vs-mouth resulting in broken teeth, hasn't helped matters, but there are other things weighing on my mind as well. the anxiety and the overwhelming feeling of not being able to handle it all, has me stuck with a deep desire to lay in bed under the covers and stay there for awhile. avoider? yes.

so, in efforts to combat the bad, i'm trying to focus on the good.

this week i'm thankful for:

. fresh picked raspberries from our neighbors yard.

. for friends. we've struggled with being socialites here, and i'm thankful we're finally get our groove back.

. modern day dentistry that helped make my hobo mouth, not so hobo.

. numbing cream and shots (yes shots!) to make the dentist visit pain free.

. for understanding employers that allow me come and go as i please during weird situations like above.

. for jokes from friends and fam (see:lloyd christmas-"i fell off the jet way again.") and calls of concern.

. a late night date night with graham.

. beautiful sunny weather.
. re-watching a great movie (bright star).

. fresh strawberry milk shakes from burgerville.

oh, and most importantly? i'm thankful tomorrow is friday.

4th of july with film.

2011-07-06T18:31:00.001-07:00

weekend:

walks by the waterfront to try and listen to jazz festival.

bbq with our friends, sam and blair.

things to note:

1. my teeth were still hobo scary at this point.(see:this post for more info)

2. s&b are good friends for not pointing and laughing at said hobo mouth.

3. hamburgers were not an option. i opted for mac salad instead. it was a bummer.

4. smiling with no teeth makes for an extra round face.

fireworks on marina drive.

it was chilly.

chilly and the 4th of july combo are a new thing to us, desert people.

pst.. we haven't used film in awhile. we obviously need some practice. i'm okay with that.

it's laughing vs crying.(post edit:chiclet teeth.)

2011-07-05T10:25:00.005-07:00

meet the contenders:

after a short and unfair battle,

the pole won.

here's the short of it:

i woke up on the wrong side of the bed. seriously. i rolled out, and landed on the floor. no biggie right? wrong. said pole is part of a privacy screen by our bed (remember studio apartment?) i bumped the free standing pole (see: not screwed into the ceiling or floor- more tension rod like) and it moved. i got up right when the pole was swinging toward me like an angry bat. it smacked right into my two front teeth and viola.. enter- snaggle toothed kate.

oh,

i cried.

and

i said a few choice words

you see,

pain.

and

humilation.

a sunday on a holiday weekend.

a horrible. no good. bad day.

here's to staying indoors, and sending graham out for liquids.

2011 you're sucking for the health end of it.

oh, and graham thinks it's HILARIOUS to have me say "she sells seashells by the seashore."

Post Edit:

i'm no longer snaggle tooth. instead i feel like i've got a couple a chiclets in place of teeth (as known as temporary fillings.) with the trauma to the teeth, there's a good chance of a root canal(shudder)and crown. so, for now it's the waiting game for a few weeks to see what happens with the nerves, and then another trip to the dentist.

oy.. what a nightmare.

little stories amongst the big book.

2011-06-29T10:50:00.003-07:00

i went rafting yesterday after an almost year long not-on-purpose hiatus. it wasn't the snake river, but nonetheless, it was a great river in beautiful country. i suited up again, in a tight stretchy wetsuit, and it felt like coming home. i loved the way the wind blew on my face as we drifted along the trees. i waited for the ice cold splash and adrenaline that comes when hitting a rapid. i shivered in the not ideal temperatures. it was amazing, and a far better way to spend the day at work than sitting in an office.

after six and 3/4 years of marriage, i dyed my first batch of white laundry splotchy pink the other day. considering that i'm opposite of a domestic diva, i found this is as quite the accomplishment. (see: looking at things on a positive note.) . the pink incident was a result of a hurried frenzy on a saturday night at a laundromat miles from our home. the machines were once again occupied at our residence, so we gathered all of our unmentionables and went on a trek. the mat smelled like melting pot of ethnic food, and was extremely loud with kids running to and fro. oy. for now, i'm lusting over homes with brand new washer and dryers, and can't wait for the days when we have our own again.

i've been gifted an old schwinn bicycle with a galaxy blue frame. with my old cruiser still in shambles, i'm thrilled with the gift. i can't wait to be an annoying biker on the road like the rest of them. i just might get a sweet bikers cap and whistle like this guy too.

oh, and speaking of gifting. the same couple that bestowed the bicycle to me, have given us bits of their food storage, small appliances and some furniture in preparation for their move cross country to boston. *sniff. they're moving the same style as we did (see: give almost EVERYTHING away and then regret it later.) it's almost like we've come full circle with this move. almost.

well blog, it's wednesday with a holiday weekend barely motivating me to get through the rest of the week. i can't believe it's only 70ish degrees and nearly july. this place is whack. a good whack though.

time traveler.

2011-06-27T20:31:00.001-07:00

happiness is:

Listening to an old song that zips you through time, and plops you right smack dab inside a treasured memory. this happy occurrence hit me the other day so strongly, that the smells, sounds, tastes, and people were so close i could almost touch them.

i held on tight to the memory as the seconds of the track continued, and just as the song ended i found myself back in the presence.

i'm thankful for time travel.

photo from balloon festival a few years ago during period of happy memory.

sasquatch hunting.

2011-06-26T08:29:00.003-07:00

we went hunting for sasquatch this weekend, during our first camping trip of the summer. we crossed the bridge of the gods, and drove through the mountains into beautiful skamania county, washington. the sun was shining through the wall of trees along the road, and i searched for bigfoot scampering amongst the woods. sadly, he did not show his burly face, but i know he's out there. maybe.

things to note:

i like camping. all of it except the camping part. more reason to save for an airstream trailer.
graham is too tall for a two man tent.
we should start dinner earlier, so that i don't fear of turning into sasquatch myself.
peach cobbler in a dutch oven,{sweet majesty as some friends call it} wins over smores every time.

thursday.

2011-06-23T13:48:00.001-07:00

Source:

i'm feeling over-inspired, overwhelmed, and inadequate by all things internet lately.

i need a week away from my desk job. i'm longing for our family ranch in the mountains, where cell phones don't work, and there are no computers or t.v. (ahem.. so, there is a t.v. now, but it was banned when we were kids.)

oy. i hate/love you technology.